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Literature Text
There were twenty-seven freckles
on the skin between her shoulder blades.
He used to line them into constellations in his free time:
The Big Dipper;
Scorpio;
Hercules;
Medusa.
He called her Galaxy Girl
and swore she'd walk the moon someday.
One night,
he captured twenty-six fireflies for her
and she laughed
when he held up the jar
and told her she could find her way home with it.
She could light her way back to him.
He swore she'd be the first girl
he'd ever name a star for
and he'd call it Glacier to match her eyes
and besides,
it was so much better than her real name.
He looks at the sky
through his telescope now
and wonders if she realizes he kept his promise.
Twenty-eight stars are dedicated to her
and her universe freckles.
He named them all Lizzie
and despite his long midnight talks
with the fireflies he always captures in his palms just for her,
he still can't bring her back to his world.
on the skin between her shoulder blades.
He used to line them into constellations in his free time:
The Big Dipper;
Scorpio;
Hercules;
Medusa.
He called her Galaxy Girl
and swore she'd walk the moon someday.
One night,
he captured twenty-six fireflies for her
and she laughed
when he held up the jar
and told her she could find her way home with it.
She could light her way back to him.
He swore she'd be the first girl
he'd ever name a star for
and he'd call it Glacier to match her eyes
and besides,
it was so much better than her real name.
He looks at the sky
through his telescope now
and wonders if she realizes he kept his promise.
Twenty-eight stars are dedicated to her
and her universe freckles.
He named them all Lizzie
and despite his long midnight talks
with the fireflies he always captures in his palms just for her,
he still can't bring her back to his world.
Literature
Don't let her whisper your name.
I would be lying if I said I forgot.
Lying, if I said I don't want to feel it again.
It's irresistible.
It's uncontrollable.
It's almost unexplainable.
It's our dance.
I never had to teach.
She never needed to learn.
The synchrony was always perfect.
From the first second to the last one.
Every single time.
A simple touch,
a simple breath,
a simple desire,
and the world would explode.
So we were in a universe apart.
Dancing, an unknown song.
We never rehearsed it, it never went wrong.
It's just like I said.
The synchrony was always perfect.
As if we could feel each other.
As if we were created for each other.
Do you beli
Literature
Belonging.
crushed antlers and pierced wings
your palms dirtied over my spine
you sat on the hood of my car
a cigarette trapped between your teeth
and i turned on my windshield wipers
as i pulled out of park
and you smirked
'he hurt you.'
'so did everyone else.'
'but not like he did.'
your gaze lingers on my heart without sadness.
my nails in your wrist
and the way you laugh on the couch
i sat on the edge of your bed
a pencil soft behind your ear
and you turned on jazz music
as you pulled out my notebook
and i smirked
'fuck.'
and your brilliant smile wakes mine still.
Literature
Where She's Not
She's not at the bottom of my cereal bowl
But I'll eat it all the same
Just because I get to think of her
And the way she smelled of sugar
She's not between the pages of this book
But I'll read it all the same
Just because I get to imagine her
And the way she was always my hero
She's not along this sunny street
But I'll walk it all the same
Just because I get to feel her
And the way she was warm, like summer
She's not in the spaces between the stars
But I'll gaze all the same
Just because I get to see her
And the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled
I always loved her smile.
I won't find her in these distractions
But I'll s
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More of my "new" style.
I think I'm beginning to like it. Maybe. It's simple...but...portrays something my other poetry didn't, in a way, I think.
September 2010
I think I'm beginning to like it. Maybe. It's simple...but...portrays something my other poetry didn't, in a way, I think.
September 2010
© 2010 - 2024 betwixtthepages
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Grade: 17/20 or 85% or B, whichever you prefer.
I will start by saying I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem. I loved the symbolism that I read (intentional or otherwise), there was just one issue that I found. Why 26, 27 and 28? I understand that she had 27 freckles, why 26 fireflies and 28 stars? I came up with a theory that the missing firefly represented her soul, free and that there was an extra star almost saying that, now that she had passed, she has joined the stars. Just a theory. It's always a good thing to create some questions, it keeps a reader's attention, but a number that represents nothing is, in truth, just what it represents, something insignificant. Everything must have a purpose, what are the numbers'? I found no grammatical errors, thank gosh. On the other hand, the inconsistent line breaking is bothering me. It seemed as though there was a pattern you were attempting to follow, but failed. For example, the constellations should be in one line together, not separate, and lines 21-23 should be put into only two lines. Overall, I enjoyed the creativity and uniqueness of your poem, there are only a few things that should be adjusted.