The ABSOLUTELY wonderful `FuzzyHoser took me up on my Project Crazy Wonderful and commissioned me to listen to this song ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9Ofyx… ) and write something inspired by it. THIS is what happened.
This is well written. Although, I'm a bit confused on what the poem is trying to make me feel. Maybe if you included more about a certain situation it would help the reader to realate and understand the poem more. I don't know if I'm just missing the point, or of I'm just not thinking deep enough, but I really don't understand it. you have great writing skills though, and you're great at writing poems.
Thank you. This was actually written for a commission/prompt--the song linked in the artists' comments was what she wanted me to listen to and write as inspired, which is why this might be a little difficult to understand. Also, scifaiku (science fiction haiku) is meant to be a bit vague or leaves readers thinking--but I'll consider your confusion and keep it in mind for revisions.
LadyNeytiriFeatured By OwnerAug 7, 2013Student General Artist
I'm going to pardon myself now before I make any huge spelling mistakes and say sorry to how long this will probably turn out and say it again if it's confusing because I'm massively sleep deprived.
Hmm well the two main characters are Lin & Lleuyaven (aka Aven). Aven is a extremely powerful elf princess (that sounds so tacky when put that way...uuhhggg *puts head through a wall and continues*) and is unsure of Lin whom she eventually joins forces with because of secrets that are withheld on both sides and the Gifted Star that- with time- binds them together. Her star covers her heart while his is at the tip of a long scar that runs from his left shoulder to his right- this marks their weaknesses but whether it has something to do with the outside or the inside is known only to them. She ran from her tribe to escape the Shiqon (demons) and their pets the Shiqovre (hellhounds), the last of which is along the lines of a fire controlling beast, both have hunted her for much of her life. She is strong willed and becomes one of the most powerful elves. Her left eye is dark blue her right emerald green and she has long raven black hair that has a bit of a wave to it. Lin is more of a secretive elf who was adopted by the leaders of a different tribe when he was but a baby yet this is unknown to him as he doesn't know much of his past. But he is the one who was used to kill Aven's elder sister (his body controlled by another) even though he had loved her. This he finds out when he is sent to assassinate her but doesn't succeed and chooses instead to join forces with her. His right eye is ice blue the left silver.
Ha! That wasn't as long as I expected though I bet I missed something. This all sounds so very horrible and I'm sorry if I sound so pathetic as I am so very tired. *goes to hide in a corner* And if you'd prefer you can always go with the suggestion about my short story