literature

Sticky Fingers

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betwixtthepages's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Shamrock-painted nails
scrape the bottom of the barrel,
mint chocolate chip ice cream
dripping from sticky fingers
like the final notes
of a tragic romance.
Lying heavy on her tongue:
the bitter aftertaste
of a lesson learned too late.
Rubbing salt across the open wound,
she bites down on her spoon
and wishes for relief,
but she's always had a jealous bone
and she knows him well enough by now
to know that when his sister calls,
he doesn't turn the bedroom lights off
and lock the door.
Written for :iconsilverinkblot:'s ( =SilverInkblot ) Color Poem Contest!

GOGOGO check it out if you're up for a challenge and some writing fun!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to :icondrippingwords: and :icondailylitdeviations: for the DLD on this piece! (10/25/2012)

August 2012
© 2012 - 2024 betwixtthepages
Comments20
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CelestialMemories's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

I usually try to avoid full-star ratings, but this piece was well deserving of it all!

You captured a very popular common topic in a different light that shocked me. I didn't expect you to talk about the hurt of affair and jealously with the sweet and salty sensations it causes. While it is great that you know the truth, in some cases not always the truth is good, right?

This is a very beautiful piece that took many multiple reads to get the effect I wanted to have for this. It went from understanding, to sympathy, to just simple resentment--the blatant actions of this person and how she just seems to accept it by doing nothing than eat her ice cream.

You did a beautiful job with this! Keep up the amazing work!