ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
and sometimes,
the moon goes into hiding
and leaves the sky haunted only by stars
and i find myself wondering
if you've captured her love in your grin.
the wind whispering through the trees
sounds more like a haunting melody
than a soothing lullaby.
i see your face there
every time i close my eyes,
your smile lurking just above the horizon line
as i drift to dream.
but tonight,
the stars have disappeared
and left the sky to storm clouds
and i wonder if this means
the moon lies in your arms.
are you making love to her somewhere,
the covers pulled close
and the stars glistening in the spaces
between her crater-marred heart
and your beautiful soul?
the sky is lonely here without you.
the moon goes into hiding
and leaves the sky haunted only by stars
and i find myself wondering
if you've captured her love in your grin.
the wind whispering through the trees
sounds more like a haunting melody
than a soothing lullaby.
i see your face there
every time i close my eyes,
your smile lurking just above the horizon line
as i drift to dream.
but tonight,
the stars have disappeared
and left the sky to storm clouds
and i wonder if this means
the moon lies in your arms.
are you making love to her somewhere,
the covers pulled close
and the stars glistening in the spaces
between her crater-marred heart
and your beautiful soul?
the sky is lonely here without you.
Literature
PTSD - Flashback
Darkness closes in
Suffocating and drowning me,
Causing me to remember
Forcing me to see.
The world fades away
Distant and out of sight,
In mind I am in the past
Thrust back to an ancient night.
Back to a darker time
Trapped, hurt and alone,
Raped and beaten daily
Told for my sins I must atone.
Feel their hands on my body,
Their breath on my skin,
Feel them force their way inside me,
Go cold and frozen deep within.
Suddenly I am in the present
Shaking on the floor,
Shaking and fearful
Unaware that I'm not in danger any more.
Can hear people speak to me
Ask if I'm ok,
All I can do is look at them
Wishing the memories to
Literature
How Long Is Forever
How long is forever?
How can it ever last?
How can we look so forward
Without looking at the past?
Does it bleed through day?
Does it weep at night?
Does it tear through emotion?
Does it really have much might?
I suppose it\'s real
Though I can never tell
They tell you they\'ll be there
And leave after the bell
Maybe it\'s the beauty
That\'s infinite in today
But their wisedom upholds all
And their exterior does decay
They say they will hold you
They say they\'ll never let go
You turn your back for a second
And they\'ve become someone you don\'t know
But how can there be forever?
If you just walk away?
Without even breat
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
Written at work.
It's a bit different, no?
July 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The preview image comes from use of
's
Moonlight Injection 1
and
's
Female 18 Stock
It's a bit different, no?
July 2010
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The preview image comes from use of
's Moonlight Injection 1
and
's Female 18 Stock
© 2010 - 2024 betwixtthepages
Comments41
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactThis poem is very lovely! There are some cliche phrases like "wind whispering" and "haunting melody," but they don't seem so offensive in context here. I guess it's because you're not trying to use them to scare people, in which case an element of surprise would be prerequisite, but you're using them to create the atmosphere, so it works.
What I would change, however, is right at the end. Stating "I'm lonely tonight" is a telling phrase. We already get the feeling of loneliness from the rest of the poem. On top of that, if your last line simply said, "The sky is lonely here without you," it would be a metaphorical statement that would feel a lot more poetic. So, if you omit the former statement and simply alter the latter, you'll be saving some words and be creating a greater impact.
Hope this helps!