Submerged in Swan LakeSwans and wings are floating by
I have always had a secret love affair with ballet, though I haven't had the chance to watch much of it.
In regards to this piece: I think this stanza, in particular, spoke to me the most--
The crows are cawing hymns,
begging to be swans.
But only the duck submerged in Swan Lake
has delved the desired shore.
I find it interesting that it can be interpreted in so many ways, while still maintaining an overall sense of reality--because really, I think we're all striving to be something--someone--we aren't. But if we were to get that? The chance to be something different? I don't think we'd be any less miserable...but that stanza carries hope, regardless. The sense that maybe, just maybe, it's possible to be comfortable in our own skins.
I also like that you carry the image of the duck through the whole piece, and I feel like that last stanza really brings a sense of closure--of adventure awaiting--to your readers. Yeah, the duck is still a duck is still a duck...but he's got this air about him at the end of this, as if he doesn't care what the rest of the world thinks, so long as he's comfortable with himself. It's a feeling I think we should all strive to achieve in our lives.
I also really like the scenery you put in this; I could almost feel the sea breeze whispering across my face, my hair blustering across my face as the water laps at the shore...it's subtle, yes, but it's there in the rhythm of the words, the way they roll off the tongue--and across the mind--so fluidly. It's a rather neat thing to experience, the atmosphere of a piece being more metaphysical or ghostly than real. I think you accomplished something wonderful here overall. Beautiful work!
Thank you so much for the lovely critique, sweetie! I'm so glad you managed to find the time and I really appreciate it. The stanza you mentioned is actually one of my favorites as well! And although the duck does desire to be something he's not - it's more like he earned his place amongst angels rather than becoming head cheerleader.
Thanks again, darling! You are so lovely.